Komathi

2011-03-17T01:28:00.003+08:00

Day 10:
Too much pain within, yet a smile is managed. The strongest person, even with the tears in her eyes, Mum.

2011-03-04T02:07:00.002+08:00

Done with exams, &officially single. Good &bad thing or good &good thing? :D I don't know. Its just too much of anxiety at the same time. No comments. But I think life is better this way. Im happier. Period.

2011-02-04T23:25:00.000+08:00

2011-01-15T01:35:00.001+08:00

Fuck my life. Does that explain all?

2011-01-07T20:48:00.002+08:00

2010, not a bad year &definitely not a good year. But well, I met my love &all ready to fight through anything that comes my way.
I hate that 2010 took away my favourite brother &I got to miss him for the rest of my life. Which obviously made me insecured more than ever. It really feels like death is your way anytime, ANY MINUTE. &Its seriously not good by the days. Death is all I can think about during my freetime-.- when I go out, when I'm home, anywhere, everywhere. Seriously. wth. But anyways, I miss my brother whom I lost to a freak accident &feel like telling him how fucking much I wish I could have him here for the person he was, he didn't deserve to die that way, NOT AT ALL. Something I CANT accept till this very way. Nevertheless, you will always remain in my heart, rest in peace annae. I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YOUUUUU. :'(
&Nimalan, RIP too friend. :/
Entered poly &omg, time really flew, its going to be a year already. Sounds gooood right.
&Ive got too big dreams for myself. I just wish health is never a hindrance. TOP SECRET, I don't mind letting it out here, MY BIGGEST EVER FEAR IS CANCER. :/ I swearrrrrrr, if someone could find an instant cure for that, life would be better. Its somehow just a fear in me. Weird much.
&PRJ, Thanks for all that you've been till this very day. &Fcuk you for all the times you've screwed me upside down, downside up. But it made sense each time you do so. Will def make a better me out of all these.
&&OMG, DESTINY IS SO US BABY! Heeeee:)
&I love all my happy pills, you all are the best. I will lose you all for nothing.
This year, I wish to have smarter people for friends, when comes to thinking about last year-.- Really, done with childish people all around. Its time to fcuking get real people. No room for childishness no more. GROW UP KIDDIES! I miss having beautiful people like Bala annae, sick and tired of childish fcuks.
&Most importantly, (NOTE TO SELF)
I want to be who I really am &of course grow up to be a better person at heart and mind.

2011-01-07T20:33:00.002+08:00

I love this beautiful picture of PRJ &family.

&I particularly admire the way prithy is carrying the adorable baby cousin of his.

Handsome family.

Btw, that is prithy's 'timer' father. So scary. :(

2011-01-05T20:52:00.001+08:00

Hi.

2010-11-14T17:57:00.002+08:00

" In life we all have an unspeakable truth, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and an unforgettable love "

2010-11-14T17:03:00.001+08:00

Reminds me of you.

2010-11-14T17:00:00.001+08:00

2010-11-14T16:53:00.001+08:00

" Every hateful thing you've said was another bullet shot in my head, And every hurtful thing you've done to me was one step closer to my life's end "

2010-11-10T16:48:00.003+08:00

Sleep tight my kutty angel. I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really bloody hell love youu and missing you is the fcuking most hardest thing I'm trying to do right now. I fcuking love you for what youve been to me while you were still here.

Is there a way back to yishun annae? :(

I FCUKING FCUKKING MISS YOU LAA :'(

Remember the celebrations we always had?

our JB trip early in the morning?

you sending me to SSDC and telling me 'monkey better drive carefully ahh', when i still feel like asking you, you asked me to drive carefully, but why you lost control annae?

Your surprise walk-ins through my door EVERY week, at least once?

You sitting down with me for hours and hours sharing your life and heart with me?

Advising me about life and love?

Calling me your angel and monkey and rascal(i fcuking miss that)?

DO YOU REMEMBER, TWO DAYS BEFORE YOU LEFT, I ASKED YOU TO BRING ME GO MUMMUM SOON AND YOU SAID CONSIDER IT DONE?

(its totally done ah annae?)

How you used to pamper me?

How you loved me and told others im your dearest little sister, despite having two elder sisters biologically?

The way you treated my family as yours?

Why annae whyyy?

I fcuking dont wish to stay here anymore.

You left us and expect us to move on?

Appa misses you everyday, he cries, he tells me he really wants to see you idiot, for leaving him.

We all want to come to you.. :'(

I wouldn't mind being a coward, weak or whatever you call it to not know how to handle your departure. I fcuking dont and dont want to know.

Im fcuking broke and fcuking tired of expecting miracle to happen, fcuking tired of crying to see you.

I know this is not you want to see me doing, but i can't.

Im trying to suck it all up, help me annae..

FATTY!! COME IN MY DREAMS SOOOOON AND ALWAYS PLS PLS PLSSSSS!!? :D

( i remember, your one hand holding pizza and still eating, another around my neck, even messing my hair )

2010-10-17T15:25:00.002+08:00

Celebration of Friendship, Symbol of Love.
Another bright phase.

2010-10-17T14:58:00.002+08:00

" I wanna be an understanding person.. I want to be the one who mends your heart, not the one who breaks it.. I want to be the one who only brings smiles to yr face and joy to yr life.. I want to be the one who wipes the tears, not the one causing you to tear.. Paaapu, ystd when u cried(not caused by pritheevy at all) on the phone, i swear, i was abt to tear, it hurts so much hearing u cry.. I wouldnt bare it and it made me realise tt ive been so bad to you. Even when i throw my words at you, you took it and didnt throw your words at me, u hv been the understanding and tolerant one, ystd it occurred to me ur the best thing ive got in my life, im nt regretting choocsing you.. I really want you to know, i really love you very much.. Its you i want in my life today, tomorrow and forever. "

This message meant alot.

2010-10-14T00:22:00.002+08:00

Blonde jokes are funny funny funny, okay a certain.

PRJ &I have a funny yet cool mean of communication.

We communicate through established brands, like so fun.

Nokia- connecting people. LG-life's good. Macdonalds-I'm lovin' it.

It goes like that, quite fun, wheeee(:

I'm finally finishing up my practicals, and the learning process is soon going to be over, i likeeee(:

Right now feeling a bit lifeless in facebook and at home.

PRJ; Come backkkk from camp soon, can't wait to shop with youuu(:

Havannas, storybooks, shirts, dresses, blah blahh blahhh, whoo.

You're the best thing that happened to me, you're the companion, you're the irritant.

I loved mac breakie with Nani today, most of all, I loved hearing you out.

PRJ LOVE <3

2010-10-12T21:57:00.000+08:00

Sick of falling sick.

*bangs head 6371627 times*

2010-10-12T20:02:00.003+08:00

Can someone slap some sense into me, if they think I'm at fault, PLEASE, fcuking slap that into me.

I'm just being a stupid female dog.

Period.

2010-10-12T18:27:00.002+08:00

Dumb blondes are an interesting bunch of cute idiots.

I can just kill time reading their jokes at the comfort of my bed, my new found hobby.

I feel like sharing some in here. :D

Q:How can you tell a blonde sent a fax?

A:There is a stamp on it.

Q:How does a blonde kills a fish?

A:She drowns the fish.

Q:What do you call a blonde with half a brain?

A:Gifted.

Q:What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?

A:Mental block

2010-10-11T05:14:00.001+08:00

HAPPINESS; PRAVEEN RAJ JEEVARATNAM (LALLAKUTTY)

2010-10-10T00:30:00.003+08:00

I like this picture. (:

Anyways, looks like its been so long since i updated, haha!

Seriously, I'm starting to shut myself from the world and its of no good at all.

But but but.. hahaha. Don't feel like talking about it.

Nights. ((:

2010-09-25T01:05:00.002+08:00

Never in a million years I ever thought we will lose a friend. The loss of a friend simple brought home the realisation that death is anytime. Life's totally uncertain and of course, unfair. Nimalan, who was called to be with lord few days back. He had an incredible amount of love for bikes. And i still remember the day he bought the bike some time back and others were test riding it at 151. It feels like it all happened in a blink of an eye. Digesting the fact that he's no more is taking way longer than i thought it would. He was just a common sight everytime. Moreover, too young to go. He definitely taught a lesson to all of us though. It just wouldn't take more than 3 seconds to say I Love You to the one we really love and means a whole lot to us, yet we failed to do it most of the times, maybe because we take them for granted. Holding a grudge, being egoistic towards an issue, are they all worth more? Not at all. We are all blessed with wonderful people around us. Its human nature, they tend to upset us at times. But we all know, love overpowers anything at anytime. And there's nothing quite as powerful as love. I believe, wherever Nimalan is right now, up there, in the safest arms ever, he's going to be best taken care of. His funeral is something I'm totally struggling to forget. It was just too devastating to see him in that state. Anyone will agree to this. I pray for all my friends and family who rides and drives, their best safety and god's blessing forever. Speeding is a choice. Never a priority. Rest in peace dear boy. Your smile, your voice, your everything, never to forget now and forever.

2010-09-20T03:15:00.003+08:00

Every 19th Sept doesn't only mark my father's and uncle's birthday but also my parents' anniversary (supposedly) Now that it doesn't matter any longer, its pointless holding on to the fact that its also their anniversary. But i swear it did bring alot of sorrow to me. A marriage, that was made by god and broken by man. Something's always missing in life, and that's my mother. A beautiful lady i missed. 14 years is just alot of time to miss someone and to still hope they will come back.

Papa's and Inji's birthday went well. It was awesome with family and friends. At least that made appa happy for a day.

Its been a difficult past few days with flu that leads to effing headaches. Im still reluctant to consult the doctor. well, firstly because I hate medicines and doctors. Secondly, I just don't want to know that i have a real problem with my frequent headaches like mummy. Mummy's worse, like really worse, like she always faints, gets admitted in the hosp and whatever not.

Yesterday's memories, Today's love and Tomorrow's dreams no more.

2010-09-16T02:45:00.002+08:00

I'm not good at this crazy thing called love.

No matter how many lovely people i have around me, what i always can't wait to have at the end of the day is some loneliness, my finest companion all my years.

The only companion that sticks with me, regardless of anything I am.

I can't appreciate anyone, truly.

I can't be any better of a person, even after countless tries, I'm totally imperfect as I am.

Its tough. I expect alot, and i never expect the unexpected.

I always get disappointed, hurt and broken.

I'm totally sick of it all.

I really miss being myself, even when i had no one around me, i used to feel too good just being alone.

I'm starting to shut myself, from everyone and everything.

:'(

Totally feeling lost and worse.

There's just no more love left to give.

Exactly when, Mummy's totally missed.

Having a long conversation with mum was awesome.

If i'm given just one chance to do anything in this world, i will gladly run away somewhere far farrrrr.. i swear. :D

Nights.

2010-09-15T00:46:00.004+08:00

A walk down my memory lane. (:

Jaya Annae days. :D

The incredible amount of powder we used to put all over our faces. This part of the hall is our favourite space with minimal furnishings to cater to our needs. More like a playground to us. We had our awesome toys then.

Mummy and Jaya fatty. I bet this picture is precious to Jaya as much as it is to me. So cute.

Jaya and his 'gf ' Rovena. My crazy cousin sister who was head over hells in love with Jaya. Probably my 30th day in the world. :D

A stubborn kid you can say, that nuggets were in my hands throughout my bday party. The only surprising thing was that, both the nuggets were left uneaten. One was bitten a bit though. A baby's appetite.

Raj annae was a adorable kid. His 1st birthday. And mum (The one carrying Rajnae) was only 17 years old then.

My other half, perfect twin.

The one I missed in life. God gave me to her, yet seperated us. In two different paths of life, still love never dying. A mother's love we call it.

A very adorable photo of Jaya eating Honey. Honey all over his mouth is so cute! *faints*

My 1st year.

Mummy asked, "Komi, do you remember the barbie doll cake for your first bday party we had for you?" Now i do.

Biting the nugget a bit. :D The one biting the nail is my adorable cousin Naresh.

Raj annae was 86KG then ! Hahahahha.

Our lollipops we used to love eating everyday.

2010-09-07T04:14:00.002+08:00

Sending this beautiful lady her way my love.

One of them who lifts me high up, asks me whats wrong when she feels something's not right with me and says WHAT LOVE all the time, when there's just too mucha love in the air.

Surprised how she's sucha sweetheart in a real short period of time, got a special place in my heart to be never replaced.

The one I can totally get spoilt with, spoilt by, the one I can laugh all day long with (trust me, we do), the one pushes me to the serious zone when needed to and the one i can also celebrate my birthday with!

My purrrrfect partner in crime. <3

You know didi, i hate you worrying about M too much.

Most of the time, i dont really know what to say to make you feel better cause' only you know the real pain.

But i promise you the shoulder to cry on and the ear to listen up, now and always.

Mwahhhh!

2010-09-03T21:46:00.001+08:00

' PRJ MOMENT '

2010-09-03T10:01:00.002+08:00

THIS VERY MOMENT, VERY SECOND, I MISS MY SECONDARY SCHOOL LIKE NO OTHER. i SWEAR, I REALLY REALLY DO. MS RAJAS, 5N1 AND TAMIL CLASS. ALL THE STUFFS WE DO. jUST A THOUGHT, WHEN I WAS IN SEC SCH, I COULDN'T WAIT TO GRADUATE. NOW THAT I HAVE GRADUATED, I WISH, I JUST WISH I COULD TURN BACK TIME. MAKES ME CRY, LIKE TO THINK BACK, EVEN STUDYING THEN WAS AWESOME. STUDYING AS A CLASS, 5N1, MADE IT ALL BETTER. THE DECOS, THE SHOW WE COORDINATED, THE TEACHERS. HAIYOOOOOOOOOO.. :'(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

2010-09-01T02:24:00.002+08:00

Finally i'm here (:

Anyways, today was a tough day.

I was feeling veryyyyy sad for my cousin whose bike was stolen under my blk in the wee hours.

C'mon, its a damnnnn bike for heaven's sake! Who are the fckers kidding? OMG!

I kind of found it hilarious when i heard about it cause, its singapore and i believe its one place i always thought was totally safe.

Well, God's by our side.. Within a day, my brothers, dad and friends were able to find out who stole it and well, we called the police down.

Unfortunately, veryyyyy disappointing to know, its my ex schlmate, a friend of my brother and a hi0bye friend of mine who stays few blks away from us did sucha disgusting act.

&worse of, to know his father was defending him. -.-

God's totally by our side.

Cousin's bike need total repair right now.

and i just can't stop cursing that old friend.

Glad, he's arrested.

Haisss..

Anywaysssss. I couldn't get my PDL because of my bionic eyesight.

I should try my luck with my specs again tmr when i go for my first prac.

I hope i can get my pdl then, cause' i worked my brains hardddd for it.

Next up, FTT. In no time. haissss. Holidays, burn.

Pritheevy's a major sweetheart lately. &i enjoy being with him/ spending my time with him nowadays.

Now that aug is done with, we'll be sucha darling all along.

youre the bombbbbb papa!

I'm like mugging for my exams right now, not too hard though.

My exams are sucha dragggg i tell you!

Finishes on the 13th. omg. but ive got alot more time to study.

Wheee..

I doubt i can join happy pills for next outing on the 11th. :(

Lalla! Exams around the corner.

Lucks to youuuuu babylove!!

I so badly wanna crash on bed sometime soon. :( i hope i can.

wheeee. Nights.

2010-08-27T00:31:00.001+08:00

The very least you could have done, reply.

2010-08-27T00:24:00.003+08:00

Contemplating the idea of working all over again. Got to consult Atas soon. Though I know, its a little too much to handle, I guess i'm totally fine with it, maybe at this point of time but.. i don't know.

Plain bored with life.

Becoming too useless by the days.

Depressing as usual. No one's nice enough.

Starting to hate everyone right now.

Need a getawayyyy.

2010-08-26T23:54:00.001+08:00

Just a bit of peace, happiness and freedom.

Is that too much to ask for?

2010-08-25T00:20:00.002+08:00

Anyone would have guessed I'm going to be missing in action for another 63726493 years before i come back to blogging again.

Loook at what i found on the web.

A picture of a poor boy from Pakistan, eating a bread and a packet of drink, homeless. :(

Babies, children and anyone in these situations have got a soft corner in my heart.

How i wish i could make a change?

I always dreamt of, and soon will.

There's no turning back in this, for its something that gives me inner peace.

These kids are adorable. They srsly don't deserve this at all.

What are all the rich big shots doing with their money in their banks, only accumulating but of no use to mother earth?

Politicians of Pakistan and other respective countries can definitely choose to make a change.

Why would no one take a step forward to it?

They instead develop whats already developed and want to only make it better.

Richer get richer, poor get poorer.

Fcuk these selfish, self-centered politicians.

They're of no use to needies.

_______________________________________

Didi i tell?

Mummy's always the best thing on Earth, no matter how much i'm in denial, the truth that is.

2010-08-21T00:40:00.000+08:00

2010-08-20T23:28:00.001+08:00

I feel like cryinggggg. Like now.

2010-08-20T22:41:00.002+08:00

Did i tell how big my eyes got?!

I always thought my eye's aren't big until todayyyy.

When i was getting rdy for temple, i was putting on my eyeliner and damnnnnn..

it just occurred to me, that my eyes were too big!!!!!!!

like omg. i don't like. :(

haiss..

2010-08-20T22:14:00.003+08:00

Predictably another accident.

My granny was screaming for me to wake up cause' papa got into an acc.

AGAIN. Jaya at the back was telling, again right at the same place where he got into an acc previously.

I quickly woke up and checked my phone to see elderst bro and his friends calling me to call appa.

This time, we gtta count all the luckiest stars cause' papa got into an acc, brother's cbr 600 now needs a thousand bucks repair and it was quite a bit serious.

But, papa was not hurt a bit. :DD

Seriously!

How cool is that, cause' papa took precautions when he was alrdy reaching the area he got into an acc previously.

The pain's excruciating than physical ones itself.

To know, a loved one is badly hurt/injured, not once, not twice.

Not in the mood to comment about that now.

I went to the templeeeeeee!

Wheee, like finally.

It felt so goood, just when something else was breaking me slowlyyy.

I'm lost for words at the very moment.

Writer's block. Hais.

2010-08-19T21:04:00.002+08:00

What I was waiting for all these while. :D

Papa said we're not shifting, and i'm so happppyyyyy.

We're instead renovating and i asked appa, how you going to do my room with a big smiley face plastered.

And papa said, how do you like your room? you tell. :D

Got me so happy.

My thoughts are alrdy running wild.

Let's see.

Oh right now, im blogging cause' im superrrrr angry.

I don't know why but i am.

2010-08-19T05:53:00.002+08:00

My sleep's an effing bitch right now.

Worser than ever.

And I feel like crying out loud having to go through this shit each day.

I barely have time for myself in the day now.

Sleeping at 10am, waking up close to 6-7pm is no joke.

Effing depressed. :(

Maybe, im resorting to sleeping pills some time soon.

FML.

2010-08-18T10:02:00.002+08:00

Today is Pridivi papa's TP test and I think i'm more nervous for him than he is for himself. -.-

I'm so excited for him la.

Just feel like screaming to him right now

" GOOD LUCK PRIDIVI PAPA!! YOU SURE CAN DO IT."

2010-08-16T03:07:00.002+08:00

Okay, today at 5am which technically is in another 2hours time, Im going to start jogging! Like every morning. :/

Dead serious about this. I'm sick and tired of being a fatty.

I totally miss my thinner days when i could go into a tube dress, tang tops and whatsoever perfectly w/o having to worry about excess fatties.

I have a good few mths of study break and holidays and its only clever of me to make use of this time.

Lately, Ive been indulging myself into too mucha fatty patties.

Thanks to pridivi papa, he pampers me too much.

There's just no NO to me :( Then how!

HOPEFULLY, this time i can go back to my thinner days and start wearing what i don't feel good in now.

That picture above shall be an inspiration. -.-

2010-08-16T02:40:00.002+08:00

I've a habit of keeping my gifts the way they were given.

Yeap, even the wrapping papers (badly torn or not) will still be with me.

That's a basket of birthday cards from Mo, Prith, Prith Mummy, beautiful bottle full of wishes by happy pills and my cute carebear papa gave me just now. :D

Just a bit too precious to me, they deserve a special place to stay in.

You know this Pridivi papa rightttt. Achooo. *hits head*
He's been having a bad moodswing for sometime now.
Muhahaha, Lalla, munch, Pria, Sap and I had a funny theory for Prithypapa regarding this moodswing.
Anyways, coming back to where i got distracted, just when I should have all the moodswings in the world, this pridivi papa will show me attitudes.
Times like this, i would gladly give in to him cause' i find it pointless rebelling against each other.
Though right inside me, deep deep down, i will feel like killing him there and then itself.
I've a bad temper, and talking abt it.
This pridivi papa's one lucky guy, till this very day, i never felt like throwing my worst tantrum at him.
Okay, then.... continuing the love story.
Fatty lalla organised a last min dinnerdate with Munch, Sap, Pria and Me.
Beauties and the beast. :D
And when we calld prithy papa, he kinda scolded lalla and me for god knows why.
An hour later, he did join us, like finally.
We were at semb and decided on seafooood date!
Right aft tt, we decided to walk back to yishun and when we were doing so, Sweet pridivi papa whose too good at surprises gave me a cute CAREEEBEARRRRRRRRR, GREEN ONE. YESSSS CARRREEEEBBBEEAAARRR!!!! *FAINTS*
I've always loved them :D
Thank you Pridivi papa, you're the bombbbb.
And i love my happy pills. <3

2010-08-14T19:18:00.002+08:00

I hate it when i've to fight with my siblings.

I admit it was my mistake to have talked rudely but i believe it didnt start from me.

And that foul word was beyond control.

LallaKutty. Thank you for making me feel better.

I've always had this particular problem with my ego.

And Lalla told me, if its okay to put my ego down when ts for your own benefit.

How true.

I shouldn't have done that.

Thanks to my ego, i'm so screwed.

I love you Lalla. (:

2010-08-14T18:03:00.000+08:00

MISSING YOU ALL !

2010-08-14T02:00:00.002+08:00

I've more guyfriends than girlfriends.

But what makes my girlfriends more special to me is how much each individual mean to me.

They're all woman on their own, most beautiful to me.

Though, ive known quite bit of girls all my life, till this very day, little made it to the closest wall of my heart.

And thats definitely cause' they're special in their own way.

I would love to name them all.

Pria, Nani, Munch, Sapydo, Navito, Celia, Mehndi, Shal.

I love how these girls are as colourful as rainbow to me.

Like today, a number of them made my day.

Munchie whom i was chatting for sometime now, got me realise how much she has grown from then to now. All the motivations she could give me now and the faith. I;m so proud of her right now and i love how much she has grown to see others' happiness as her very own. A beautiful path created by her for herself. Really beautiful.

Mehndi who msged me to say how much my words could make her feel 100x better. Needless to say, this very girl won my heart in a very short period of time. Soon became very precious to me. And little did i expect myself to grow to look forward to her happiness most. She makes my poly life better whenever too many projects and assignments come in hand.

Navita, she msged me a while ago to tell me she misses me and all. Ah, this irritating mosquitoe is adorable right. she's one hellof a irritating girl but still the sweetest. Very young yet matured herself. just that at times, she's too childish she can get bitchslapped by me anytime.

And cutiepies like Pria, Nani, Celia, Shal, Sapydo all have brought the best in me at some point of time.

Makes me feel how fortunate I am to have gotten the best out of the rest!

The type of girls where no bitchy problems rises.

At peace always, in our own worlds, having good times and there to catch if any falls.

Wheee.. I just love all of you, girlfriends.

You all are the best and still will be best awesome-est. \m/

2010-08-13T19:19:00.002+08:00

Well, i was talking to PRJ a while ago and it happened that PRJ and his adorable little brother (PRJ also - Praveen a.k.a Lallakutty) had a funny conversation with Kavitha akka regarding dowry.

&PRJ claimed, the conv went like this.

Pritheevy to Kavitha akka : Naanum en thambiyum 500K dowry vangamae yaaraiyum kalyanam panna mattum.

Kavitha akka to Pritheevy : who will want to give dowry to you both? moreover, your FIL is a policeman.

Lallakutty (who comes up with the funniest things on earth each time) : Naanga dowry than vangurom, avanga maamulae vanguranga.

Achoo.. Lallakutty. Why so naughty.

Then Prith said, so how 500K? And i said, no never.

And he said, I don't want 500K, i already have my only K. :D

2010-08-13T18:31:00.000+08:00

2010-08-13T17:36:00.002+08:00

Will anyone come Cambodia with me?

Poverty-stricken countries?

Pretty/Handsome please? :D

2010-08-13T01:05:00.002+08:00

Little did i even expect this.

Everything about is unexpected.

Just the way it happened.

This very collage makes me feel like a baby loved by its mother.

Does that explain it all?

PRJ's the bombbb! (:

2010-08-13T00:27:00.003+08:00

This picture's a little special to me.

PRJ and I share a special thought regarding this pic, especially and specificly this girl.

Sucha adorable girl right.

*popooopoopopopoppoop*

"Does this count as annoying?"

Hahahahaha!! cute or what! wheeeee.

Anyway's life's on the brighter, better side right now.

Just that its technically study break now but i'm treating it like a holiday cause' i'm terrible at determination and discipline.

I hope to put myself on the right tract asap before it just gets too late for me to do so.

Regrets are so not my thing.

On the other hand, I wanna let Mehndi my Didi know that she always has my back and i'm never letting her down.

In case you happen to see my blog, dearest, let me tell you.

Your smile's whats most beautiful on you, wear that cause' the moment you're tearing that down, darling, your losing almost your all.

And its worse when it happens cause' your upset over someone.

Don't let anythng over rule you baby.

You're worth so much more than what you think you do.

There's a million more in life than just this.

There will come a time in everyone's life. Patience pays.

Can't wait to see you punjabi beauty. :D

&that nerdie pants Star Shalini.

I've been wanting to work out now but damn it, my level of determination should find its way to hell like seriously.

Its ruining every part of me.

:'( I got a gut feeling right now, this 2months plus of break's bringing me no where.

&I can whine and whineeee for another day long.

I'm out of here.

p.s: Looks like i'm a little more active in here already. :D

2010-08-11T02:53:00.003+08:00

Pritheevy Raj Jeevaratnam.

The day i met you, little did i know you will be more than just a friend to me.
We grew closer each day, we were caught between closest friends teasing us to be couples and truthfully, we hated every single bit of it.

God knew, it would even come true.

It felt like a dream, to have met you and now get you.

And yes, like I have always hated relationships, I hated this too.

For the fact that Boys, Love &Heartbreaks' so not my thing.

Nevertheless, got to admit the fact that you never once hurt me intentionally cause' we know you always hated to, physically and emotionally.

We were this close to getting together.

But yes, i did stop it all, for the good I believe.

Like you always said, Anything and Everything for you, you're the man of your words.

Cause' when i wanted us apart, though it hurts, you gave it all in one night just because I wanted it.

&Now that we're apart, its so painful.

But I'm glad you understood I needed to prioritise and most importantly, NEVER to let my daddy down.

I always promised myself, my first ever boyfriend shall be one I'm going to be proud of, just after My dad knows he is mine and I'm his.

This very moment, I'm so not prepared for that, so that explains this break.

This pain is unbearable.

I feel so right to be with you, I get all the joy in the world, I laugh for all the single bit you do and Yea, you irritate me a little here and there (thats an exception) and now, everything fell apart even though this is what i really need, i really want.

Just the day when we fell apart, I saw the pain in your eyes, i swear i did.

Soon, i felt it inside me.

Now, its hard for me to take.

You'know i broke down, you know hate this and you do too.
And you also know, you've got no choice but to treat me like this.

Though I know i'm going to hurt myself if i were to talk to you, that is the littlest i could ask for now.

You shout at me, you tell things off my face that can possibly hurt me most and you ignore me for all you can now, but i definitely know, you've got no choice but to do this to me, even if its making me cry or hurting you.

I totally understand if you would break me now, cause when i said i will understand anything and everything, i really did mean it.

Just what I will never stop missing is the way you pamper me, our must-have goodnight msgs, calls almost everytime, your irritation and all. :(

We forced ourselves OUT of love.

But there's just one more belief in me, Someday, in many years to come, I will hold your hands once again, this time for the whole world to see and know that, YOU'RE THE ONE.

2010-08-10T18:38:00.001+08:00

PRJ. Just missed you. ):

2010-08-10T16:54:00.004+08:00

[ 6, 7 & 8 August 2010 ]

Our chalet was a blast. Each and everyone made it special, yet again.

Thank you to Momo darl for organising such an awesome get together.

We sure had a good time together.

Though, there was an unfortunate event that led us to regret.

Hot oil spill. :'(

We should have been more careful of that and for the fact that we're all responsible for each other's safety, its important we take extra care of everyone from now on.

And of course, to never make the same mistake again.

Besides that, everything else was just too good.

The three days together, day and night was the BEST.

Sleepless nights, walk at the beach, trying to find space to sleep awhile.

Nice nice nice.

Pool, Escape Theme Park, BBQ, Murderer &manyyy more.

It sure is another weekend to never forget.

Loving the happy pills to bits.

Muacks babies.

2010-07-18T14:42:00.004+08:00

[ 18th&19th june 2010 ]

Momo's and Mimi's special days, respectively.

Our two days at Sentosa we spent together, and many more birthdays to come.

Undoubtedly, what was in store for us by the happy pills was just too happening.

All the efforts, time and love. No words to describe right?

Munch the organiser obviously deserves all the Thanks in the world.

How the surprise at 12am came about was too amazing to imagine.

Murderer, Mo and I thought it was.

Awesomely planned right?

Followed up, more and more games til the break of dawn. Yet another outing to never forget.

Darling Mo, It was our first birthday together and hopefully not the last.

Love you till the very end and happy pills, Thanks is never enough.

This special one. Pritheevy Raj.

My bestfriend like always. Atas, I hope y'knw how much you're missed. I don't know what went wrong where. But i definitely know you're missed. :'(

The bottle of wishes, gifts and cards.

This reaction came when i opened up only one wish from the bottle and it happened to be Pria's.

That explains this much of happiness on my face.

Beautiful organiser. Thanks for everything you came up with. Love you babygirl.

Now and forever.

All of them that very day.

Two days of fun fun fun.

Loving you all till the very end.

2010-05-30T20:36:00.008+08:00

Long long awaited post. Like finally.

[29thmay2010]

Our darling babyboys Advin, Sasi &Pritheevy Raj. We needed to do something really awesome to make the may babies birthday a memorable one. &So, we decided to go for BBQ this time round. Fun filled, happiness packed day. Our theme party for the boys that night was MickeyMouse. More like a gay bday bash, for all we call them, GAYS :D

Hahahaha, nah they're absolutely normal but each boy loves another the way a gays fall in love. Really cute boys, born to make our days, our life.

Each time, Each moment, Each day.

Hey babies, you all know, the love we have for you is just unconditional and never in any particular order. We did all we could to bring your day to life. &we believe we did succeed in what we want to do.

&For all that you three have done for the rest of us, this is never enough.

The way you all are part of us, like our very own family.

You three are just awesome for whatever you've done to make our days.

Advin :- Though you're our baby, we do know how much you protect us. Having you among us is a blessing in disguise. You're our cutest babyyyyy i swear !!

Sasi :- You know me best, and no one could be any better than you are. Like i always say, i wander if anyone could tell about me any better than you can. You've been the best.

Pritheevy :- Our celebrityyy this boy is. All we wish for is your pink of health for all the pain you've gone thru some time back, i want to tell you, we treasure you most and will take care of you like you're our everything.

The cutesyyy collages we made for the three babies. They took too much of time and effort. Not forgetting, OUR LOVE TOO :D now, thats what i really call MADE WITH LOVE (:

Adorable Disney Mickey Mouse cake for our darling gays. What could suit them anything more perfect than this right? :D

Pritheevy's mummy's arrival was the bombbb i say! Her special appearnce sure made the BBQ a even more special occ, especially for the bday babies.

Awesome mummy i should say. Like how lucky Prith and Lalla are for a mummy like her.

She's super enthu and out-going. Not forgetting loving to the maxxxx.

OUR GUEST-OF-HONOUR of course ((:

&Was great meeting Prith's atthai ponnu Vishnupriyah too ((:

Give me a million years, give me another chance, give me a better place, I still will choose them over anything in this world.

The feeling to be one of them is just wayyy too awesome, like you got to be in it to feel it.

And, i swear i couldn't ask for more.

Each and everyone of them is a form of blessing, the nicest pieces of god's creation.

Like a difficult puzzle, when it gets into its places in pieces, they look awesome as everrrr..

Now, isn't that what beauty is all about !

What brought them to me, what?!

2010-05-16T14:09:00.002+08:00

Manju's Birthday Update Firstly.
30th April, My little angel born to make all our days a bit more colourful than it already is.
So, this time round, we all decided to give her back.
That's when we all planned on a shisha outing which was technically held on 1st May.
Huge Thanks to Munch, Pria, Sapna, Vani, Navita, Devona, Celia, Nandha, Sasi, Simon, Rafia, Prithy, Lalla, Jason, Baby, Kamal, Nirmal.

Secondly, It was Nandha's bday last night.
15th May. So, we went to her chalet, her party.
Thanks to Pritheevy's mum, we had car.
The clan picked us (Simon, Pria and Myself aft wrk) up at about 12 at cityhall.
We all headed to Xhngi, Rafia the coolest drove (: Momo rode with Lalla the pillion.
We went to OCH !! hahahaha darn scary in the bginning. that was about 3am.
Then we went to the beach and spent a lil time.
Got back at 8am.
Thank you my happy pills, despite my saddest day you guys made me go all e way!
Love, Pria, Munch, Sapnaa, Prithy, Lalla, Rafia, Sasi, Kamal, Simon, Momo, Nandha, Baby.
&Sepcial appearance, Krishna &Prasad (:

2010-04-23T00:48:00.002+08:00

" You hug him goodbye like it's nothing. where all you want to do is to hold on forever. but you let go, smile and walk away.. then cry all the way home because you know it will never be the same. because try as you might you can't make someone love you, sometimes you have to let them free.. and letting go, that is when the love hurts the most of all "

2010-04-19T23:01:00.001+08:00

BABY P BABY P BABY P !!!!!

*DANCES AROUND WITH BABY P*

I WANT MY BABY P NOW NOW NOW ((:

2010-04-17T12:00:00.002+08:00

Unfortunately, My daddy and cousin happened to get into an accident the previous night.

Total shocker to all of us, when we rushed to the A&E, as they were already brought to the hosp by ambulance, I had to see litres and litres of blood on my father. &cousin too.

Their clothes all torn, blood bleeding here and there, not being able to walk properly.

I can't say more. It was just a worse. :'(

Breaking my heart to millions and trillions of pieces.

That day, Muhes mummy was coming over to my place, so we all were wiating when this had to happen.

Now, papa and cousin are home, papa thickly bandaged all over, still bleeding.

They need just alot of help with sitting, lying and anything you do in a day.

Its just not normal.

Thank you everyone whose prayers were kept close to papa and cousin, Muhesmummy, Muhes, Vik, Nandhanae for visiting &all my friends and family for asking. Really keeping all of us strong at this very moment, when we need this the most.

I can't wait to get back to school. Orientation sucked. They were just totally a major turn-off. which orientation never was ! Looking forward to schooling, though.

Happy 26th Birthday to my elderst cousin sis ShantiKa. God bless. Get married soon, HAHA!!

Currently, my awesome clan and I are planning alot. Haha, wanna go ECP, seafood, chalet.

Plan Plan PLAN kind souls (: Go all out.

Thinesha promised to bring me out to unwind. Thats probably coming up next week (:

By now, everyone in Fb would have known we, the awesome clan went to Sentosa, only last saturday. We had loads of fun, needless to say. Organisers being Pritheevy &Manju did a great job. We couldn't ask for more.

' Vani, Jasona &Arvin not in the picture '

Misses Devan Isaac &Jalajaa Joanne 'Manalans.

Life gets too tough, all I need now and could ask for, STRENGTH.

2010-04-01T11:26:00.002+08:00

&so, Panguni went all fine. i think the guys really helped alot. so proud of them (: Like, really loved the way all played a part. That includes, Manju, Sapna, Pria, Arvin, Sasi, Arun, Nimalan, Jason, Pritheevy, Praveen, Bouncer, Paal, Gary, Apoi, Riyaz, Nirmal, Simon. *Apologies if i have missed out anyone's name, unintentional* Arun was the annoyer of course, his photography skills just so 'awesome'.. AH!

Saw Thinesh before he proceeded to his procession. glad to see him. Thank god everything went fine for him too.

Thinesh was always saying we could never make it to any lunch or dinner with him because everytime it happens, i sleep or hmm sleep.. haha! so i promised him the next day we're gg for sure. he wouldn't believe until he sees me the next day. haha! and so, i kept with my promise. Papa was gg to night shift. so told him that i was gg out with Thinesh Pria &Pravin to tekka to eat since he's still vegetating. &it happened (: Like finally! But Thin, you know I HATE YOU.

Today, Pria, Manju, Sapyna, Jos and myself are heading to OUTBACK &then to dinner. wheeeeeee~ hope its going to be a happy date with the girls.

&&Last night i got the weirdest msg from the one i never want to get from, leaving me to THINK ALL OVER AGAIN. but what i decided on initially was obviously going to be the last too. NO CHANCE.

((:

2010-03-29T04:48:00.003+08:00

&so, I hope today's going to be a good good day for all of us. Well, every hindhu, by now would have known, today's Panguni. ah! if you don't then just die as you can't see any good in you being a hindhu. okay joking. the norm every panguni was of course, my very own procession and piercing which gives me a whole lot of happiness for one great year. Unfortunately, this year everyone in my family is kind of barred from offering this prayers because of grandpa's death which hasn't been a year yet. Though i really feel like doing what i normally do, i got to respect the indian beliefs too. &so, imma stopping myself this year. Nevertheless, i'm praying for all my friends who are participating in this later on. Like's its going to be the first year for Kamal to take kavadi. and so, i really hope he's going to pull thru this fine. &to Thinesh too. its going to be his first year taking kani(limes pierced thru the body) &so, i wish he does his procession all well and fine. &also to vicnes and many more who's participating. I can't really rmb everyone at this point of time due to the worst ever migraine, so don't bother. oh ya, &to pyah too. I really hope everything goes well for everyone later on.

We girls are meeting at 7 45 in the morning since Kam's kavadi's gg to be in the morning. The guys're probably going to go first to provide all the manpower. ah! The worse is that we girls aren't asleep yet! like wtf. we decided not to sleep bcause we obviously know we can't wake up on time if we were to sleep! but my eyes is hurting so badly, my migraine is just getting to me slowly now. God knows how i'm gg to go a day like that. we hopefully don't sleep while following -_- and to papa whose at maran temple tour for this panguni, hope you're having a whole load of fun ! finally, you're on a trip yourself which you always hesitated going because you're leaving us alone. Have a hell lot of fun !

&To every hindu this may concern, Enjoy panguni in a really healthy manner. let's not get typical, alright ((: ROGER

2010-03-23T00:09:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY AWESOME CAREBEAR PRAVIN KUMAR

You've been a wonderful monkey to me and everyone else around you.

Never failing to put the smile on the faces, crack all your lame-ass jokes and be a pillar of strength of course.

You were probably one of the many God's gifts to one and all.

You know you're getting older, when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it. :D

All the happiness you've given people you love, may it come back to you multiplied.

For all that you've done for me, heard from me Thank you.

Just be an awesome friend as ever, and as usual &stop cracking your lame-ass jokes because you're now a year older and i believe a year wiser too, carebear.

Stop disturbing me with you-know-who like a primary school kid alright.

Loads of carebear's love to you.

Young Adult, so act like one (:

2010-03-17T17:58:00.006+08:00

Something to share;

This makes loads of sense.

&I like this.

And, this reminds me of friends like Pria, Muhes, Viky, Thinesh, Vik, Prav &maybe many more.

Click the pictures to read them.

2010-03-15T04:00:00.002+08:00

Alright, this weekend was almost a dream to me. it was just as awesome, except the staff party part. saturday started off with work at 12. aloneeeeeee without my own angels but of course, the outback lovey doveys! break was quite boring that it was only me and cindy. the rest had some errands to run. Cindy and i went to pizza hut.. damn shiok. Vikcu and i requested to Mansir if we could go off at 8 for vik's party which we really had to go before we come back to staff party. it depended on the crowd that was gg to walk in that day. thank god, at 8, all my customers left &the crowd died. Viku and took a cab down to yishun. Rajannae and kashwin came to fetch us to vik's b'day. we fetched atti from home.. then went to vik's b'day. it was crazyyyy. and awesome too. at about 12, jaya and gerard wantd to send us to outback for staff party, so bidded goodbye to mamayee and family and appa all. Staff party was a major turn-off. it was all about drinks, food and us. whrs the danceeeeeeeeeee! aiyaaa. before it was 2, we left. wanted to go clarke quay but chnged our mind to go yishun instead. so, Munchie, Sapyna, Pria, Vicku and myself cabbed to yishun. slacked at mac for pretty long. left to 151 to slack at about 4 plus. played truth or dare :x ayeee. hahaha. then bought mac breakfast at about 6 before gg back. Anyways, Got vik a levi's shirt and intimately beckham perfume.. weeeeeeee!

Sunday, we went over to mamayee's (muhes's awesome granny) house for periachi prayers. was pretty scary for me to enter.. kash's family, muhes's family and mine, we were all thr, together with oswind and viknesh(maddu).. was pretty awesome spending time with family and friends for a sunday. aunty brought vik's bday cake for vicku and myself. was heavennnnnnnnnn ! super duper chocolateyyyyyy. Vik &Rajannae just couldnt get enough of me.. they were disturbing the hell out of me way too much this time round :(

Rap of the weekend !
Nights world. =)

2010-03-11T21:54:00.002+08:00

Unfortunately, last night was as horrible as hell. Sanjiv called papa to tell that Jaya got into a bike accident and that he's being brought to TTSH then. of course we panicked like mad. Thank god, he went away with the injuries that aren't too bad yet painful for him to handle. really sad thing but its a lesson for him to learn. Thank god, Muhes and others were around. &Really, thank you god. &friends who were thr for him when it happened and after, at the hospital.

2010-03-05T01:16:00.002+08:00

&so, today was awesome. Sapyna and i went to Vivo for shopppinnngggggg! one of the most awesome shopping spree i say! the other girls were working so they obviously didn't join us. Got loads of stuffs, from
MANGO, SHEER ROMANCE, LEVI'S, FOREVER 21, MAC COSMETICS !

*faints* but they obviously came with a price, the bomb! haiyeee.

Tmr, we're going to the gym. hehe!

Nights world.

2010-03-02T00:05:00.002+08:00

Firstly;

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY, VIKNESHVARAN !

Thanks for all that you've been till this very day. You, a wonderful person at heart and more. You've guided me through many times, your advices still safe with me. In fact, many a times, you have let me look into an issue from the perspective of a matured individual. Like the times when i struggled to choose a course i like for poly, you took me on a realisation that led me to the course i'm really contented to be in. i must say, you never went wrong in guiding me and even anyone. You've always given me your listening ear, i must add. &all the times i've had with you and rest is still so fresh in my mind. You, Vik, never failed to make me smile. Hope your 21 party next week is going to bring you loads of happiness. waiting to see you then. till then, you do know, Komi loves you now and forevermore, Vik. Thanks for being a wonderful friend.

This Fellow; ThineshDarl

I really have been wandering what luck i have with this guy. Everytime we planned to catch up, we never got the chance to. that has always made the wait worser for me to take.

Even a day ago, i met Muhes under his blk. we were talking about his new bike and all. he seemed super excited of course. so ya, after a while i left for home and he left for his. just at his lift, he happened to see Thin going up to his(Muhes's) house. just to know, he met me JUST SECONDS AGO. he msged and trust me, i was totally pissed. Made me felt like i should have held a conversation with Muhes for just a second more would have helped me. damn it! even that was a miss. then he msged me to join them over for dinner at muhes's house. the luck was such that i JUST had my dinner with my family. i give up! i really really am waiting to see this guy la! Miss his beautiful smile that makes my day so much know! ='( haiz..

I really think its about time my family started a business with cars and bikes. Jaya got his bike, that has to add to the already owned car, and two bikes. this is wayyyyy too much! ayee. how i wish i had one vehicle under the blk too. haha! cheyyy no la. alrights, nights world. i'm trying to get my Enrollment package from tp done by this week. its seriously a bloody killer i tell you! ARGHHHH!

2010-02-28T04:49:00.002+08:00

I miss you baby. i really, truly do. you know i love you way too much and its not that i haven't seen you for so long because i never thought of you, right? i hate how much i have to miss you. you were almost everything i lived for. i miss putting you to sleep, admiring your sleep, holding your hands, bringing you to shops, being with you.... i miss how much you find for me, how much you always sticked with me, how much you always spent your time with me.... you, my little boy have always knocked on my doors so hard if they were closed. you have knocked till i opened, knocked till ur little hands hurt. i still remember baby. i still remember you telling me that your hands hurt, your little hands. i hate to see you once or twice every few mths. your first three years, i have never missed your days. but now.. you seem no where near me. you gave me too much happiness, you took it away with you. why are we both so caught between these situations? I want you Baby.. or i never want you. i can't possibly be seeing you grow so far away from me. You're not my blood but my life. Don't forget me by any chance baby.. i know you grew up alot now. Love you to 'don't know' how much baby.. when's next?

2010-02-27T03:18:00.002+08:00

After tmr, i will only be working at OutBack on weekends. Apart from that, Sapyna and i decided to apply for relief teaching. It happened that i actually got the provisional approval. well, pretty excited about this for i was wandering these few days what am i going to be doing not working on the weekdays. like what Vik said, Relief teaching gives an awesome load of experience, i totally got to agree with it for its not going to be really my first time handling kids. haven't decided which school to go yet. but i would totally prefer my primary school bcause i obviously know it well right! hahaha. but then again, i'm okay with any other schools too. i'm pretty much looking forward to this. teaching isn't really my passion but it interests me alot more, so no doubt its going to be of no bore to me. but then again, my temper can really hit its worse anytime. like so scary la, don't want to scare kids what. hehe! but seriously, not too sure if i'm taking the next step to it yet. these happened to make my day i tell you! in one of my happiest mood ever.

Other than that, tmr's the day my three awesome brothers Jaya,Muhes &Atti is going to take over the first bikes, SP. like brothers only, all same bike and stuff. theres' of course things that can really worry me. like these young boys can get reckless, or even if they're in the right state of mind, something could drive them elsewhere. no! but seriously, these guys shouldn't let our trust down. I'm like totally going to keep my prayers so close to them. they will be fine. &Muhes is so going to ride his bike over to my place just to show me, papa and raj all. weeeee! ya like we stay poles apart! hahaha, just a stone's throw away anyway. No matter what, my mummyGOD is going to watch over them always, so they better not naughty around.

PAYDAY WAS TODAY ! YAYYY!!!!

Shopping, prayers &manymore to come.

2010-02-21T17:27:00.003+08:00

staff party is cominggggggggg! March 13th. seriously, everyone's so looking forward to this.

2010-02-13T01:51:00.003+08:00

Last night something brought me the realisation, how much i have failed to keep in touch with the people in my life. whats the point in thinking others have changed when we, ourselves have, in a way or another? it felt painful, really really painful to think that i never cared like i used to. like, there was never a time i failed in my duties as a daughter to ask my father's well-being. recently, when we all got to know about my father's ill heart, everyone had a fair share of responbility and sadness of course. now, i realised its been months since i even asked him how he feels. to think of it all now, it felt like a tight slap on the face when my father told me its been loooooong since i asked him about his medication intake or even him. i couldn't barely say a word. and of course, i couldn't sleep without crying.

Heavy heart.

2010-02-05T00:56:00.002+08:00

Time ran. Really fast. Its already been two weeks &Bigbrother is coming back from New Zealand technically today !

&i can't wait to stop working. it has been really really hectic. time for some break. though i'm going to miss outbackers like crazy shit. Ashif annae's last day of work was today. so sad. =( he promised to keep in touch. he better. whenever did straight shift, he was always thr. will miss him.

Mummy is cooking all my favourites soon ! yayy. major happiness i say ! Vicku,Jaya &myself are going to indulge for sure. =D damn excited. her cooking's awesome la ! like how every child love its mother's cooking.

I've been really excited these days bcause of my new,beautiful VAIO mummy bought for me. Thanks a million Mumma! You did as per promise. Really loving it. my laptop's so addictive.

Nans, really sorry to hear about your aunty. I really hope you're going to be fine. No matter what, Life goes on, Honey ! Love.

Paydays are probably the best days in life. =D

Good night world.

PS: i miss Mumma, Vicku, RajAnnae, Celia, 5N1, Nans, Thin, Prav, Muki Family, Pyah... Hope all of you guys are doing great !

2010-01-27T23:39:00.002+08:00

Writer's Block as usual.
Anyways, Got the JAE admission. Temasek Poly's what i got. I likeeee! Haha! Okay, so being a first-timer, i feel lucky about this. more fortunate i mean. Muhes advised. Haha! so cute. Okay so yaa. I have got months to come still.

Bigbrother's at NewZealand now, Coming back next week only. &Vik's flying to Brunei tmr. Hope they feel fine in there. They're so going to enjoy every part of it. Hopefully. I know bigbrother is. Yet to know Vik's Experience. Lol.

Have been working my ass off this time round. Finally, i'm yearning for some good time at home. About two weeks ago, when i fell terribly sick, i spent about 4-5days at home. That made me want to stay home more often. But then again, in working world, you can't choose to leave as and when you like. Got to endure a little bit more.

Apart from that, I'm pretty sure its going to get really hard leaving workplace. its more like for the staffs in there. Loveeee them to max la. &spending time with Sapyna,Pria,Munch,Kamal,Simon,Arvin Grandpa, AryAnnae,RajAnnae,AshifAnnae,Man,Tin,Diane,Rohim,Jos,Henry,Nick,Seri,Adi has always been just as awesome.

I miss Mummy's place. We [ Jaya,Viku &Myself ] were literally out of the world when we stepped in mumma's place cause it was THAT awesome. The bigbig Statues, The way the home was made up, her room, alter and everything has got to be number one. Superb good-looking i tell you.

Okay, i think i'm more or less done. Happy lifes people, till i get back for the next post which i can't promise as to when it will be done. =)

2010-01-10T20:30:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling so scared. No, not because its results day tmr. well, that is too, but that aside for a moment now. I'm scared as soon as results arrive, we got to start looking upon the next step in life, that is poly or whatever. that means no more work, which also means lesser time with the loveliest bunch, Chu,Munchie,Sapyna,Kamsu,Sasi,Vin,Simon.. i don't quite feel ready to leave work. not at all.

Afetr much await, its results days. &trust me, the days went in a blink. That was really fast. God bless me &all my love!

2009-12-30T21:46:00.002+08:00

Back to blog. I still don't quite believe its already going to be 2010 in just few days to come, barely two days. it feels like only yesterday when i thought about Os and freaked out at its thought. &like what Munch mentioned in her blog, the times we stressed over books &pushed ourselves to the max is all over. i'm superb thankful we all managed to go thru it this fast. thought whilst going thru, it feels totally slow.

we got our payslips. i feel happy for myself that my holidays didn't go to any waste and now, to look at the awesome pay, it feels all the more better in the inside if i were to look back at this two mths to think what i did. thought social life is so dead, i'm pretty happy i made money than please others.

trust me, everyone got into the last bit of nerve &i swear i don't want to give a fcuking second chance if there is. but perhaps i might, though i can reassure its never going to be any same nor better like it used to be. NOT mentioning about family, that's exceptional.

cause, i have an awesome father who drive me up and down work even during his off-days which is almost everyday of my workday. i feel him feeling so much for him. there were numerous times he wanted me to quit working but i'm glad he always wants my decision to be last. nevertheless, advise is a MUST.

now that December is up, &Jan is kicking in, its time for some fun. Thank god, thrs' no shoe/bag/books-buying &school-going ANYMORE! it feels so good to not have the thought of going to school and not forgetting, waking up early in the mrnings, missing holidays &convincing self that next hols coming soon AND mugging for exams and tests. i likeeeeeeee!

Love Family,Friends at OB,5N1,Muhes,Vik,Prav,Thindarl,MukiMummy &the Babyboys who totally belong to me, Devan Isaac, Rishi Grumpy &Sharman Nephew. ThankYou GOD.

&I want to THANK God from the bottommost of my heart for all the happiness till this very day. Even though it was minimal, i'm glad it came! also, for giving me this time to realise who actually is INandOUT of my life.

2009-12-25T01:05:00.002+08:00

looks like it has been long since i updated. &i realised i haven't been talking a thing about my work. so, i shall elaborate alot more now since i don't quite know what to blog about at the very moment, apart from only the sad stuff to share which is meant to be a private issue. initially when i started working at outback, i couldn't wait to get out of that job even if my friends weren't going to come. i did look for other jobs too. its going closer to the second mth of working &i got to say i don't still know if there will be another place where i can find this same awesome people, awesome job to do. &its important we love what we do &i'm sure together with me, chu, munch &sapyna enjoys working thr a whole lot! its just too much to explain about what happens in a day cause' trust me, we love to be together, doing all kind of shits, even having fun whilst working, helping each other out &MORE. managers are awesome too. especially mr man (*ahems*) hahaha! &I'm seriously thankful i didn't switch jobs! i would also love to always go back only there to work(excepting full time jobs when i really grow up) like what tin said, even outbackers who have left still visit ob every now and then, like vadi the chilies manager! weehooo. superb cool! we're also having OB chalet on jan 17th! :D totally looking forward to.

not forgetting, our chalet too! weehoo, munch chu, sapyna!

customers. we always look forward to pleasing customers. we want to make the best out of the customers. their smile matters so much more than the tips they leave itself. &when they take a leave with a great smile, that makes our day more than anything. BUT! not everyone happen to the same. we do come across all the worst customers who fight for discounts(not ang-mohs at all!), fussy over doners, late arrival of check, food...etc, seating area &even NOISE! having a problem with noise at a restaurant is the worst thing i ever came across cause they got to fcking find a private area like a home than a rest. if they want no fcking noise. what d fck! we don't live to please ppl to this extent. we just ignore or try our level best. but complaining over everythng can just leave us to serve them at our worst! like chu's customers ystd. &another type of fckers who are at large were the ones sapyna handled. brought with no fcuk manners, fats in the brains & fussy to the max bastard who had to really be verbally abusive to a 16yr old. he gt to count his lucky stars, rohim or mr man weren't thr! or else, just imagine his fcking plight. may he just fall and die for embarrassing her infrnt of more than hundreds. HELL YOU GO! fcuker no respect for food and girls at all! worst still, saddist who didn't give a mind to another soul's heart. everyone has feelings! wait till he gfs keep cheating at his back and plunge to death or get admitted at imh.
Amongst these kind of cheap, priceless assholes are people who do give so much respect to this profession.the ang-mohs are the best to this. they really do take note of service provided. like today, i had a customer(chinese) who came with such cute baby that i felt like serving them with the fullest heart of mine &so i did. she bothered to leave a feedback on my service. that made me smile more than ever! it gave me this happiness,so difficult to explain. &the next were these couple from germany. they were so nice that i began talking and talking like how i do so much in the kitchen and everybody start chasing me with a knife. they made my day so much too. most of them did. mr man bringing us to vettaikaran this sat, midnite show! weeeeeeee.

2009-12-14T04:49:00.005+08:00

Unfortunately, the contents isn't clear enough to be shared. This was what was sent by my Manager. It basically our birthdays associated with tress (different types) that says a lot about us.

Like i'm a Fig Tree (The Sensibilty); very strong minded, a bit self willed, honest, loyal, independent, hates contradictions &arguements, loves life and friends, enjoys children &animals, a social butterfly, great sense of humour, likes idlesness &laziness after long demaning hours at work [ manager looked at me &i smiled, effortlessly trying to reassure i'm somewhat not that C'MON! WHAT A THING FOR MANAGERS TO KNOW ABOUT EMPLOYEES! ], has artistic talents and great intelligence.

Pria - Chestnut Tree (The Honesty); of unusual stature, impressive, well-developed sense of justice, fun to be around, a planner, born diplomat, can be irritated easily, sensitive of others feelings, hard worker, sometimes acts superior, feels not understood at times, fiercely family oriented, very loyal in love, physically fit

[ so true! ]

Manju - Walnut Tree (The Passion); unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egoistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambitions, no flexibilty, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise

&whoever wanna check out, just click on the article itself, Am too tired to type all ya!

Good day =)

2009-12-14T04:06:00.002+08:00

Technically, 4.10AM.. wee hours already. &i just got back from my two-days trip to M'sia with the whole clan. the whole clan includes 10cousins, uncles, aunts, papa, brothers &grandma. we travelled together which made everything a whole lot fun. but what we, esp i missed alot was Devan. we seriously had to leave thambi back at s'pore (relatives@TPY) because bringing him equals to too much exhaustion running behind. haha! of course not that but haven't gotten a passport for thambi yet. okay so yaa, we left on friday midnite &gt back only today which technically is a monday morning. but trust me, something was still holding me back from letting go of all the thoughts. &it feels like it only got worser. what made it all the more worst was what happened mins before we left m'sia.

i realised i haven't been myself for long now. i haven't been talking properly nowadays. i don't feel at ease even a bit. its been long since i talked to pria. its been way long. & i learnt hw to hold back alot of happenings that is capable of hurting deep down badly &bottle them up, saving up for god-knows-what. like i thought everythng will be the best right after my Os. it feels otherwise. the next day itself, i was forced to let go off my beloved. started working which took up alot of time, straining the relationships between almost alot. yet work is not the worst afterall.

but wheres the break? is what i'm asking for too much? will i ever get another chance to break open how my heart feels like? its getting too much for me to keep within. what do i do? though i feel i am only as strong until its kept within. &the moment its let go off, i become just as dependent.

everyone knew the only one amiss during the whole trip was thambi, but only did i feel like another wasn't there too? &that its my mum. now, thats what family gatherings brings me to go back with. the absence, feeling totally deprived. thats exactly why i refuse alot of gatherings, keeping myself behind.

i need a break, real one this time round. =(

wishes everyone happier days ahead.

i truly miss you schoolmates.

and of course, studying &laughing around with 5N1.

Eva! there will soon be another time we get back for a gathering.

2009-12-06T03:21:00.002+08:00

too many of us under one same roof, my roof. finding it heard to totally breathe. though atmosphere's not that bad with all around, wheres' my damn freedom? got to isolate myself somewhere outside now.

2009-12-03T21:22:00.005+08:00

i forgot this picture of Milk, BalaAnnae. This was a fcuking funny story i tell you! he was irritating everyone by speaking in malayalam all the way! and when dad gave him a nice piece of cake, he was telling in malayalam that he got a nice piece of cake which was so irritating and funny la. then from his back one of them just had to smudge a whole piece of cake on his face and he had to skip a heartbeat! totally unexpected. after this, everyone started getting way too noisy!! we expected the presence of some police officers to the celebration.

[ pardon the worse memory that the post turn out this bad and disorganised ]

starting with the best. just ystd (2nd Dec) was elderst brother's 23rd birthday. for the first time in my 17 years of life, i wished, and also that because he was sucha nice soul who came to fetch me from mrt station at the wee hours of night. &so i thought i should just wish though feeling a whole lot nervous cause we find it abnormal doing so. just as i reached the carpark after work thinking i'm so going to hit the bed like never before, my dad brother cousin who were under the blk, surprisingly of course, asked me to refrain from going up as my brother's friends are buying him a cake to celebrate with. i waited for long and long, the next day work at 11. i was dead. three cars came and my brother obviously knew what was in store. i was feeling a bit outcast as i didn't make a bit plan for the whole thing and never felt a little comfortable. Then the cake came and blahh and blahh. loads of his friends were thr.

totally preparing for the worst.

thats how worst looking i was. &all his friends forced me to feed brother a piece of cake, like they were shouting so loud to do so when i refused & of course, pieces of the cake went to my face then brother's.

This is my brother's friend whose born just a day before him which technically is 1st Dec

BROTHERRRRR,,,,,!!!!!! &SO, HAPPY 23RD! AND I LOVE YOU WAY TOO MUCH.

Did i tell? that i went to the seaside for the performance of the final rites for grandfather. THIS WAS HOW BEAUTIFUL EVERYTHING WAS WHEN HE WAS SENT OFF.. &it reassured me for sure, that his in a much better place. though i just heard of another sadSAD fcuking heartwrecking thing he did in his last few days which i would love to share. during our last visit which was on deepavali, he told my dad to take him to malaysia as he badly wanted to see the places there. appa promised him he soon will. which is a total regret for my dad as he never got the opportunity to. just days ago when dad went over to see patti, he happened to come across grandfather's passport which was all ready even with the white card readily written and signed by him ! it definitely brought instant tears to the heart and eyes, well it did for me.

AND!!! this is Mr Grumpy!!! a.k.a Rishi, my youngest cuteeeeee restless grumpy cousin. sucha a cute loveeeeee i tell you!

HE CAN NEVER KEEP STILL. its just that. just like devan.

THAT'S BEA-U-TI-FUL !

(flawless smile)

&now that all the happiest moments for now is talked about, i no longer feel like telling anything else that is fcuking my mind and brains up so badly for days and days that i am drifting totally apart from EVERYONE.

GoodDay! =)

2009-11-28T00:30:00.002+08:00

Multi-tasking like mad at the moment. Okay that aside. Finally, thatha's 16th prayers is over. FYI, its a prayers done for the dead to let their soul rest in peace and we break our veg fast, not forgetting start praying to our gods at home which was obviously paused for 16 bad days. the prayers is done over one sleepless night by performing three prayers by the priests of course before heading to the seaside for one last prayer. afterwhich another is done at home to open up their prayer room and cook whatever the one who left loves. thats not all, its followed by another prayer at the temple in the evening to the lord shiva! tell me, LOADS OF PRAYERS INVOLVED IN HINDUISM! in just a day, so much. okay coming back to mine, i had a whole sleepless night. i got to go to the seaside too. was darn sleepy but had no choice. i tell you, it was already 7plus and the scenery was just as awesome! Thatha's soul is at peace now. i just can't describe it but it is. i have a photo but due to technical problem, i can't get it up. so is grumpy's photo with me. grumpy's the youngest restless cousin of mine. *and i finally have broken my fast that was held for 16 days* very difficult i tell you. hahaha!

The other day was quite bad. i had work till 12plus as usual. as i was about to leave, i got a call papa was admitted, YET AGAIN! like, a hospital year for all of us, don't bother. so brother came to fetch me at raffles where i was sticking all alone at about 1 am? sucha sad thing. we waited for papa to come out of observation or at least a call from a doc that would peace our minds, there it came nothing! jaya wasn't around. cousinbro and bigbro only. patti was way too tired but reluctant to leave, she had her rest in the car. we had to wait at the hosp admission centre thinking there would somehow be a call for us. brothers friends bala ak.ka mani! and nandha came shortly. livened our wait there big time, for a moment even forgeting we were at the hosp. wait for hours and hours. afterwhich not a doc came but my dad himself. at around 5am! then we all went out to eat. &got back home because i had to work at 11 that mrning!! =( HOW BAD!

2009-11-24T01:49:00.003+08:00

The Mayans :- Prophecy 2012, entering our galactic day..

Many of us are aware of the Mayan calendar but not many people truly understand what it means and how it works. Yes the calendar does end on December 21, 2012, but what does that mean? How does it come to that? What is their calendar based off of?

The Mayans had a very precise understanding of our solar system's cycles and believed that these cycles coincided with our spiritual and collective consciousness. The most significant of which has much to do with the 2012 prophecies. In the following writing, we will walk through the main details of their prophecies surrounding the 2012 transition.

The Mayans prophesied that from 1999 we have 13 years to realize the changes in our conscious attitude to stray from the path of self-destruction and instead move onto a path that opens our consciousness to integrate us with all that exists.

The Mayans knew that our Sun, or Kinich-Ahau, every so often synchronized with the enormous central galaxy. And from this central galaxy received a 'spark' of light which causes the Sun to shine more intensely producing what our scientists call 'solar flares' as well as changes in the Sun's magnetic field. The Mayans say that this happens every 5,125 years. But also that this causes a displacement in the earths rotation, and because of this movement great catastrophes would be produced.

Only from our individual efforts could we avoid the path to great cataclysm that our planet will suffer to start a new era, the sixth cycle of the Sun. The Mayan civilization was in the fifth cycle of the Sun, and there were four other great civilizations before them that were destroyed by great natural disasters. They believed that each cycle was just one stage in the collective consciousness of humanity.

In the last cataclysm of the Mayans, the civilization was destroyed by a great flood that left little survivors of which were their descendants. They believed that having known the end of their cycle, mankind would prepare for what is to come in the future and it is because of this that they would have preserved the dominant species; the human race. They say that coming changes will permit us to make a quantum leap forward in the evolution of our consciousness to create a new civilization that would manifest great harmony and compassion to all humankind.

Their first prophecy talks about 'The Time of No-Time'. A period of 20 years, which they call a Katún. The last 20 years of the Sun's cycle of 5,125 years. This cycle is from 1992 - 2012. They predicted that during these times, solar winds would become more intense and could be seen on the Sun. This would be a time of great realization and great change for mankind.

As individuals we will have to make decisions that will affect us all. If we continue on this negative path of hate, an eye for an eye, destruction of nature, of fear and egoism, we will enter straight into the time of destruction and chaos, and we will disappear as the dominant race of this planet. If we become conscious and realize that we all form part of a great organism, and that we should respect one another and be grateful to our planet, then we will move directly into positive growth, our Golden Age. Our planet, the Sun and the Galaxy are awaiting our decision. It is up to us what will happen in this time of change. Whether we go through a time of suffering and destruction or we find ourselves united in one positive consciousness moving closer to our next stage.

So, will that one same day unite us all? T H I N K.

&Do take time to read this through.
Good Day Peeps!

2009-11-23T00:22:00.004+08:00

i miss going to temple like a whole lot. unfortunately i got to hold on a bit more. i will. until this week thurs. i love temple visits like i love choclates now. did i tell? i'm falling for chocolates a bit more. i'm becoming a fan of chocolate. not too much though. but they they're awesome. especially BIG CHOCOLATE CAKE *faints* brownies still suck a little.

i miss school. i miss the corridors we used to hang out. i miss my friends. i miss my awesome mates &teachers. i miss every bit of everythng.

INTERESTING FACTS! : -Enjoy:)

1. Starfish don't have brains. (will that make a diff?)

2. No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

3. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television

4. Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes (stay away)

5. The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache (go check out)

6. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class.

7. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning

8. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets (i bet most didn't know this)

9. Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin

10. The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer (irony)

11. Walt Disney was afraid of mice

12. Turtles can breathe through their butts

13. On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year (no one thought us to eat pens, so whats up with them actually? )

14. Women blink nearly twice as much as men

15. A snail can sleep for three years ( NO WONDER THEY'RE SO SLOW! )

16. Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

17. In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes ( They might as well work at outback )

18. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain ( reminds me of Thindarl )

19. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match

Maybe for the once, i made good use of my blog.
Good Day people! :)

2009-11-22T01:44:00.005+08:00

okay! hello again mr. blog..
just got back from work and its already the wee hour. let me tell you about today. it was so crazy like mad ! customers were flowing in like water i tell you. you just enevr know what to do and what mistake you may end up doing. damn it. but thank god nothing was up. it was super crazy today. awesome co workers were helping each other all out. see, i told you! my co workers are awesome. Abu made us vodka with cranberry today. i tell you! he's spoiling us so much la that tamilan. achoo. i wish his mother will find out. he asked me to stand infront of bus 36 if i need help with report. damn you la abu! but thanks for the vodka =) Manju's very thankful too. of course she is!! hahahaha. Manju's a freak to the max. Whilst i was doing employee report, thr was a big commotion happening in the kitchen. all of them were shouting and screaming and dun knwwhat la. i didn't bother at all. then manju came running to me. there we heard them singing. it was for pria!! super sweeeeet la they! they had to switch off all the lights and then in the middle they had her to blow the candle. second treat i mean! from outback. weee. seri wanted to sabo but it didn't happen. lucky chu! oh and my work was starting at 5 but i had to painfully lie to chu that i'm going tekka so i would meet her at outback which of course was not the plan. i met manju and kamsu to go suntec to get her SEPHORA EYESHADOWS, MASCARA &EYELINERS! hope you like it dudeeee! Love you so much. Sorry that i had to lie taa! got back at about 1? brother came to fetch me by car at mrt station. so sweeeeet! Okay totally dying like literally! so byeeeeeeee! OFF TMR! =) WEEHOO.

p.s: will post photos not now =) Great day peeps!

2009-11-21T02:11:00.003+08:00

i need a big breakkkk! getting way too worked up all day long. working today, working tmr. damn it laa! anyway its Chu's b'day and we had what tempted all of us at outback today! at about close to 12, we staffs got her big chocolate cake with a scoop of vanilla ice cream which came specially for the b'day girl. she was so shy la i tell you! so cute. &we also had margarita! thanks to abu. its a alcoholic drink. was damn nice la! kind of a cocktail. woohooo, wrking at outback, one good thing! the bar! wee. hahaha. miss thinesh lots! he wanted to gandhis with pria and me on monday! damn it, we were wrking laa! and i promised on one of our off days. he's missed way too much! got to catch up with him or i'm dead. I miss lots of them laa! Like Thinesh, Gala, Muki, Vik, Dorothy, Celia &the list goes on. Thatha too! :( oh yaaaaa! did i tell? my youngest cousin sis whose in m'sia got 7As for her major exam! coooool or whattttt!!! she's going to be interviewed and published on newsppr. super cool. sucha smart ass. i expected it. she's very cuteeee and good. Everyone's s proud of her. Everyone's coming over for thatha's 16th prayers. cool or what!!!! yessaaaaa! we will break the fast together then. totally need to! CHICKEN I MISS YOU SO DAMN MUCH! hahahaha. okayy, i got back home frm wrk only at 1. i need to rest like mad before a longer day tmr! :( Byeeeee people.

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE ONE WHO CAN NEVER EVER BE REPLACED AND THE ONE I'M ALWAYS AND FOREVER THE MOST CONFORTABLE WITH, TALKING MY THINGS OUT. I LOVE YOU FOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE. YOU, ONLY YOU HAVE ONE SPECIAL PLACE. KEEP YOUR SMILE COMING. GOD BLESS!

2009-11-19T16:11:00.002+08:00

Fcuk! i have got the worst mood ever today. today's finally my fcuking off and its raining. am all dressed and waiting for the girls, and i have got no traces of them. pardon pria whose working and will be late due to weather. okay about my work, its a damn tiring job i got to do and end up coming back home at only 12 plus in the night with much body aches and lethargic self. everyday's a killer for me. i totally regret everything. am not feeling good about alot in life. people whose been fcuking my mood up these days, fcuk you! i can no longer stand shit happening. what's with people. they just can't keep up with words. uh! shame! wasting my time leaving a space to describe them. MSN'S being a bitch. phone's a bigger bitch. facebook is super bitchy too! arghhhh. and its been exactly a week since grandpa's passing on. i didn't expect any of my friends to be present for his funeral service. but i definitely respect anyone from the bottommost of my heart who bothered to share my sorrow for the day and more. no one needs to be sorry about their absence. &Chu, Thank you so much like what appa said, we appreciate your presence. even friends like you bothered to pay condolence when 'family' had so much pain doing so. have i ever mentioned about someone important in my life? he's Rishi a.k.a mr. grumpy. one year old youngest, shankar chittappa's son. he was so restless thru out the funeral and even after that. he always is. so grumpy that he never cries, never shouts but keeps grumbling thru out. how cute! okay. i will upload grumpy's photo soon. gtg to now, meet pria. pardon the worst mood.

2009-11-15T01:09:00.004+08:00

There you are, in a world so much better than this.

Thatha's 2days funeral service ended today. it went totally well. we managed to send him off peacefully. Murali &Shankar chitappa, Thamarai &Shanti atthai, Inji, Perippa, Appa played a good role in that whole service. Thank god, everyone was so much of a console to each other. without them this way, it wouldn't have turned out that fulfilling. i know thatha had his best journey of his life, his last journey. it took a day long though. we grandchildren had to perform this ritual for thatha when he's coffin is placed in the van. that's a totally painful part. nevertheless, my heart was totally consoled that i refuse to tear, though i did. firstly, i to my mind, it hasn't reached yet that thatha's no longer at reach. secondly, i still believe that as and when i go to thatha's place, he will sitting on that wheelchair like always, watching tv, welcoming us, and telling countless stories about old times. thirdly, i still think i can kiss his cheeks like i always do. physically not present anymore. THAT'S PAINFUL. but then again, he's free from wheelchair from now on. he's unconditional love, beautiful smile, soft voice, damnnn ! i still can hear it. the whole event brought home the realisaion that LOVE IS DIVINE. it totally is. he's going to live in our smiles, stay in our lifes. Rest In Peace Love. If only, there was another you...

2009-11-14T00:19:00.006+08:00

12th November.

Pria, Sapyna and myself were happily going for our job interview at outback. we had a hard time finding the place but eventually we did. infact we had no interview for the fact that its a recommended job. we had lunch at fish &co which of course was something we dreaded totally. nevertheless, we did enjoy the whole time till our legs had to hurt. the next day was a planned dayout at sentosa, which technically is a friday. we were supposed to come back home and conference to plan the whole thing out. but i was way too tired that i actually went to bed. i wasn't asleep yet though.

Then came a call to my dad. my elderst brother was watching tv in the hall, granny sleeping and me in the room. when my dad began raising his voice over his converstaion asking what happened and all. i totally felt a sting. there came a msg to my phone in a nick. it gave me a shock of my life to know that grandpa passed on. totally sudden. Raj annae was pondering to himself, of course because he had no idea. then i had to tell him what happened and that shook him too. so did it for my granny. my dad was literally supporting himself on the window grills. i guessed he's knees going weak.

it was in the wee hours of the night. we rushed down to ttsh with so much hope we could see him. we did. after much await. i tell you. it was already 3plus? cold night. upon seeing thatha, my herat totally broke. i just couldn't bare to see him lying thr like you know what! and to think, he's soul is no where near, it brought so much tears. i felt the loss for that moment. he was so cold. he's fingers were decolourising. he's skin was no longer soft.

the last time when i saw him on Diwali, he was so cheerful. so cute telling all the old stories like always! before leaving, i kissed his cheeks. they were so cold and hard last night. i was so scared to touch him. blood on his fingers made it all the more worse.

i just can't describe how the van he was put in looked like but i tell you, it was so scary in the inside. my heart kept pounding so bad, i was telling myself, thatha's going to be so afraid inside.

Raj said he probably is talking to his brother and sister up thr so happily now. finally he's with them already. appa said he should be having a good time after such long break catching up with his siblings. maybe it is, but for a moment i felt like we were losing out head and talking about the aftermath alrdy. we were indeed!

13th November.

Today was his wake at his home at semb. but i guess everyone's pulling it off for now at least. tomorrow's the crematorium. and i really hope everythng goes fine. *cross fingers* its the last time. yet so hard to come to terms, he's no longer with us.

You've moved across to the finest place. You're fine up thr. You will be. Though i will miss your presence. Now, you're so free from your wheelchair. After 18 long years. You became a god. I will miss you.

2009-11-10T19:02:00.002+08:00

H E L L O :D

I'm in kind of a happy mood. Appa went for his angio today. its basically this test to check your heart where you got to inject your thigh to put the tube thru. painful process ? i will die if it was for me. oh yaa for starters, its because appa was diagnosed with blockage of two of his three main arteries in his heart last week. so he was called for angio today. thankfully, he need not go for ballooning or bypass surgery. not even the last resort. lucky, he was diagnosed early. &so yaa, he's all fine. i love you God! when he got back home, he was greeted with his friends and family.

Raj is going for his OP soon. Mum's going for an OP too. Hospital's financially super balanced all thanks to my family. This whole year, my whole family was admiited at least for one damn reason. from Jaya on the 1st of jan to Appa to Raj to Me to Raj to Appa to Mum. Damnn, hotspot of the year 2009 for the Kunalan's - HOSPITAL. the whole year's been almost spent there by all. one after another. TTSH should be extremely thankful to us i guess. HAHA!

Tmr's the last ppr. i totally am lovin' it. yessaaaa. Friday is a dayout with my darlings. we are going to sentosa. plans are all done. i hope Celia can make it to us. she missed out on Sapyna's b'day bash too. Okayyyy. enough of blogging.

2009-11-08T21:07:00.001+08:00

That's the whole bunch i mentioned earlier.

Loveliest.

2009-11-08T10:53:00.002+08:00

Got to totally mention about ystd. it was an awesome night. basically, we threw a surprise b'day party for Sapyna with the help of Manju,Dee &Sapyna's mummy which was due like last week. it was so good to know she really was surprised that all the efforts didn't go to any waste and that no one actually spoilt it by temptations of telling sapyna about the party. she thought it was a diwali open hse over at her place where her dad's friends are going to visit. little did she expected us (the whole big bunch of yss, ex-yss Manju, Dee, Eve, Sajeev, Gughan, Raj, Naven, Indran, Pria, Alex, Nirmal, Sridevi, Anisa, Kavi &others too) not bad uh the bonding in yss. haha. so yaa, it was an awesome night slacking after Os &stuff. we could now enjoy with everything else at the back of my mind. dancefloor started &trust me, sapyna's mum was hilarious. super cute! then we played charades. very difficult but no one lost. thankfully. we didn't realise the time moving that fast. it was already 12 &i totally had no idea abt visting hagapaps. so i thought i might as well leave with the rest than taking a cab with the guys to haga's since i was super shagged. reached home super late. saw muhes &jaya. crapped with muhes a while. &he said he was coming over but i slept :(

Muhes &myself(brothers and myself) are probably facing the most difficult part of our lifes. its so surprising how we actually.. i can't totally blog about this. so i shall save it. but muhes and i know god's still watching us over. we're dependent on whom we love unconditionally in this whole world that he will never let us suffer the fate. not any one of us. we're doing fine. we will still.

i miss aunty the most. its been eons i say! i should go visit her soon.

on whole, it has been great days for me but my heart's been not feeling so good lately. i feel so broke in the inside. &i know, i will still go.

Bye readers! Nice day. :) (Yellow is psychologically the happy colour) - read on newspaper

2009-11-05T00:54:00.003+08:00

i wander why i always have the writer's block whenever i have so much to write yet so diffcult to do so. okay. i seriously have got no idea where to start where to end. in this one month of not blogging, thr were quite a number of events in life. like the never-ending visitings [ Diwali haven't ended, at least for me ] &theres a whole lot more i haven't attended yet. After-Os outings [ loads coming up ] &whatever whatever..

OMG, i seriously got no idea whr to start and all. i feel like i should stop or i'm going to bore my readers big time.

bye dudes! enjoy afterOs days!!! :)

2009-10-20T20:10:00.002+08:00

Firstly, Happy Deepavali to all it may concern. I had a great time seeing not all the family members come together but at least a handful of them after months and even years. that's the whole deal of growing up i guess. i happened to have an awesome time at my perima's place with all the cousins i used to ve with during the younger days. now, everyone's so grown up &that includes me. being with mits, shakthi, renu, kamini was a pleasure. they were such sweethearts who helped me kill time. they're just awesome. cute children. happy to see all the uncles and aunties, cousins and nephew. then we went over to thatha's place. since he's wheelchair-bound, its always a better practice we pay some respect by visiting them irregardless of how busy we're. then, we went over to another relative's place which is located at toa payoh, such very noisy house i must add. it was one house you could feel the diwali fever. of course, ended the day thr, meeting all the other members of the family(not all though)
2nd day was a bit relaxed. not that much though. had my people over at my place &thanks you all! after all the vistings, i realised i missed out patti's house! yet, i still have got manymore visitings to make. unfortunately dates clashing with my big Os. &now, the priorities lie over at my hands.

i guess thats about it. i seriously dont want to comment about my Os. hahaha!! &i have got another post still on pending, thats thinesh's b'day post!!!! its been overdue though. nevertheless, it will still come.

2009-09-26T23:48:00.002+08:00

Yayyyy! went to temple today. at toa payoh. for the prayers we do in the temple every year without fail. grand and auspicious. really loved it and all. annae was busy serving food, what a good sight. it happens once a year when it strikes my mind that my brothers are not all that bad boys excepting the fact that they love to pain me everyday, bully, bully &more bully! stupid ass, even whilst driving they got to pinch me, how sad. anyway yea thats about it. navarathiri's cool la, but no time to go =( parthu asked to come tmr, lets see how it goes. my sundays are usually a lazy-day-at-home.

Get well soon Pyah! you sound so bad. hope nothing comes up to you &you would get well soon. you sound so traumatised. India, our thai mannu la! hahaha anyway, shall visit you soon okay! don't worry about u losing weight and all, take it positively as in, from now on you can eat whatever under the sun so whack only! GET WELL SOON PYAH. missed you tons.

2009-09-26T03:11:00.002+08:00

it's like a sudden feel of sadness that just hopped onto me &now, i'm feeling at my worst. that aside. its Vicku's birthday today &i want to wish Ms. Vicku a very memorable &happening Birthday ahead. lots are bugging me but i have chosen to care less. no matter how much i do, it feels like thr's never a change neither do anyone make an effort to some betterment. so angry with people, really really. i feel like i'm picking on people nowadays, or perhaps i really am.

Anyway got a few of my results back. now its all about myself working towards the Os &not sit down to think what just happened to myself during the prelims. nothing major happened though. i finally feel the Os fever in school. hahaha! seriously.

My solution to insomnia seems impossible to find. i still find it hard to sleep even during my MOST TIRED days. whats wrong with my brains. i'm always up with some thinking, something's that to my mind i know its not bothering but not to my heart. its not even reaching anywhr near my realisations. everyone has a lesson to learn. some choose to change for the better, and some... for the worst.

Few days back i was into so much of thoughts about my past. though i totally know its not worth a single penny's thought i actually decided i should think a little about whatever that happened, its all for us to learn &not to forget afterall right? so ya, the possibilities of myself going into the totally cannot-make-it path which i initially took that was changed eventually. the consequences, omg can't even think. the pain's so excruciating. but then again, its all for the... better.

Had a good talk with Mits after some time ystd. told her SO MUCH to the extent my mouth really did hurt! now, the pro was that i lightened my burden a little. to someone who's a listener. not that bad uh mits! haha.

Deepavali plans are no plans. Big fat Os dominating the lives of all the kids now. what to even think, its so scary. hahaha. Diwali next year okay. hahaha, well personally i have lost all the interest over celebrating it for the fact that it should mean togetherness, peace &forgiveness. HAHA! these days, it all adds up to hardtalks. no one's heart is that genuine like it used to be.

Navarathiri's finally on! like i'm so free la. wth. pains my heart to be sucha useless in templing nowadays. Thimithi[fire-walking ceremony] will soon commence in the month of october. then comes Deepavali.

Prav asked to write about him. so i should comment on how irritating he is right. HE IS VERY! hahhaa.

[5N1's yearbook class photo design. add in your comments, Thank you. Not done totally though]

2009-09-18T13:39:00.004+08:00

i managed to take responsibilties for myself, &wake up pretty early on a day-off like at about 9 to get my damn self to NSC(national skin centre) just as i reached, dad who was at work &was supposed to drop by so that i won't suffer all alone during my damn treatment was engaged. &he asked me to wait.

arghhh, wait, all alone - NEVER ME. i waited for about half an hour when dad called to ask me to get going with my treatment &he wud be coming soon. just as i registered myself, i was called in almost immediately - damn la, when i wait for dad, thrs no queue &when i don't thr is. i called dad to say i wud go in first, dad rushed his way. but then, by the time he reached i was alrdy done with everythng &was at the payment counter. papa was so busy, he asked what happened inside &kissed me goodbye &rushed off. it took barely a minute. and now, my leg. its painful. thrs like a damn blister on the viral warts which makes it all the more painful. i got injected thrice on the warts - PAINFUL I SAY, without dad, it was worst. &now, its like bandaged &so painful due to all that needles which went thru. damn it man, got to get rid of bumpy real soon.

I miss nandha so much but am so happy &proud to know that nandha's making lots of efforts to get into the thru train class next year. makes me feel so good deep down. though you aren't with us most of the times, or almost all the time i'm totally glad its all for good. at least we do know when to have fun &not. great effort nans. seeing you, jalajaa wants to get into thru train too. inspiration? nandha enna summavaa! nevertheless, miss you tons maynnn!

Thin darl, i hope you're getting well soon. you should set aside your sneaking out to causeway thingy for a while, at least till ur wound gets a little better. miss you so much. like i promised, i would make time for you to bring you to gandhi's for sure. i promiseeee! GET WELL SOON, you know i love you to bits uh! Take your damn antibiotics or i will shove it inside your mouthhhh. Take care darlinggg.

few weeks more for you prav ! then, you're a army man in the making. Good luck darl.

Okay, today's appa's&perippa's birthday. celebrated @ECP. today's a special day yet not totally special one. appa was very down the whole time for the fact that its also his wedding anniversary today. i'm sorry but i couldn't say anything to comfort you as i myself didn't manage my way to some comfort. my mind's not been too good for sme time now. &i know i never told this to anyone. not even chume. its difficult to break this ice.

am i that disrespectful? is it me or have i always been this ? i just didn't realise until i came to know about this when a couple of times i was told i am. now, im pondering. my heart's been sinking. i have got no ways &i know. is it because i'm totally a changed person or was i always this? is it that something's always been bothering me that i no longer am receptive? why is it that i can't any longer disgest simple shit happening in life? why am i like this for some time now or always? do i even have a heart, is it that numb alrdy or what ?

SHIT HAPPENS.

2009-09-16T21:48:00.003+08:00

Alright, today marks the end of the major prelim pprs. sci prac and ppr 1 is remaining for the next week. finally prelims are over too &it feels like it was just ystd when i stepped into sec sch and now i'm graduating sooner.

as for today, chu, prav, sam &myself went over to thinesh's to pay him a visit. he had his appendix op &now in the process of recovering. we sure did a whole lot of real good time together. fooling around &stuff. thin's baby photos were a bomb, super beautiful &his niece looks like him, woahh damn cute! had our dinner together then left.

my prelim pprs so far weren't that bad. mugged to my fullest. okay not to my fullest though but i did all i could. &ya wishing all the best to all the friends waiting for their results.

talked alot to dad last night. though it wasn't a burden up or down the shoulders, i'm glad dad actually spilled. it did make me tear but then, its all just part and parcel of our everyday life. it has been that always. &its just fcuking bringing my morals down a bit by bit. its just so painful in the inside. &all i want is no advices, no thoughts. mum's missed.

how i wish how much mum could have brighten up each day of our lifes with her presence. i heard mum's a business mind. cool or what, &daddy's not surprised that i am one too. mum rocks or what. okay fine, i wish.

bumpy(viral warts) is fcking hurting me so much. its just hurting me so much that i wanna break down. i am not into operation. its the second resort &looks like we got to go with it now. its just as big as nth. okay wait, really big and bigger. looks scary &disgusting. hurting me so much!

can't wait for pap's &inji's b'day on saturday. have got plans ya! woohooo, but not with this leg that i could totally enjoy or anythng la. lets see about it uh.

prom night's a screw i say! i miss fiveN'one girls ya.

Thanks ThinLove for the dinner !

Happy b'day Muki &Get well soon TK3

2009-09-12T02:49:00.004+08:00

(This picture, i edited! =) taken from your profile muki.. haha. HAPPY BIRTHDAY)

Long overdued post.

Where can i start? if i were to talk about this boy, i could go on for like almost forever. from what he been to me to what we've shared to where we've hung out to what we've done together to manymany more. like i have always said, now and forever i will, that this one guy is the only one guy who proved me that brothers don't have to be blood always. he knows very very well, the respect i have for him. whatever he has been all these days, he's been just the best. all the realisations he has brought me, THANK YOU. all the stuffs you've done for me all these days, THANKS SO MUCH. you know you've done so much for me till this very day. being more than just a brother's friend to me all, the only guy daddy's says his godson &raj enjoy being me. you've been just the very best &i mean it so much. hope you wanting to get a bike asap happens real soon. you'll my dear. &know that i LOVE you to bits, nono words can't say my love for you. you're the BESTTTTTTTT. Hope you had a blast 18year old baby. =)

ThineshBoi. I know you've been put under the knife just days ago and the physical pain would definitely be unbearable at this point of time but all i just want to say is that you will get well soon very fast and don't even doubt a bit my dear. will come running to visit you next week. As for now, i really wish you will be soon feeling better. take your medicines properly and rest really well. Take care TK3 Darlingggg. I know these few weeks have been really hard on you. hope you will soon be seeing the brighter side of every day &you know you do have me whenever you need me. a call away, DON'T FORGET! Cutieeee pie!! Thanks for being great friend my dear.

2009-09-10T15:33:00.002+08:00

Looking thru' all photos taken back then, it just saddens my heart to have miss those funs in my everyday life. one such memory is definitely my b'day with my best of friends. totally making my day a whole lot better one than the previous years, making me look forward to more, helping me to once again forsee &never turn back to regret about the past experiences, the worst experiences.

But then again, its not what we choose for ourselves all the time that causes us so much right? it can be because someone just can't get enough of seeing you at your worst that they want to do more, well one possibility. according to me, that's what i believe in when i don't go for troubles and troubles come to me. it can be your enemy, rival or even your 'bestfriend'?

What i believe in is what i think is really happening &there's no way i'm ever taking back my words. one can really turn from a friend, a bestfriend to a saddist who could offer you so much more than you would have ever expected. amongst all GENUINE friends around me who only wants to offer the best they could to me, you're one exception.

Perhaps, that's exactly why respect was so hard to be given to you yet trust was. then again, abuse. that is. again and again it was abused. putting you out of my life was the wisest choice i made, i wasn't forced. i wanted to very much forget the day you entered my life.

From the day you did, i thought you were one friend no one would ever get. I THOUGHT. emphasized enough? despite all the oppositions from a MILLIONS of them, i stood by my stand so stern. i was wrong, yet again. not once, not twice but many a times. let me not go in detail.

I always wandered, always did. what is wrong with you? why that fakefront for? unmask yourself &maybe then people might consider paying you a little respect for who you really are. now, this is just not you. i know that for sure. will there ever be a day whr i wake up to hear that you've changed for the better? having done so much &to know you're not even a bit remorseful of whatever you've did &doing, i'm praying for a day to come where you will have the taste of your own medicine.

I never liked to be problematic. but you've always made me show myself as a very problematic child to what extent you know. till date, i have regretted so much for whatever i have done. that, only i know. this year when it started i told myself i'm changing. not only that, but more. i did, i really did to the surprise of many. stayed away from many of them. did only what i should i do. in simple words, i just had an attitude, the right one to move forward. then again, you pulled me back.

There i am, once again pondering to myself where did i ever go wrong. not being able to concentrate on what i'm doing and am suppose to. &i definitely know its not even worth the thought but a point in life comes where you've to do alot of thinking for yourself for all the wrong turns in life taken and all the right choices that could have been adapted but failed to. now, the point has come whr i am thinking if thrs a way i could actually out some sense into your metal head.

yes i am numb, very numb and empty. my heart's that. but even amidst the numbness is some feelings of my own sticking in some corner of it. not that numb yet right? then why all these.

What is really your problem, my dear 'friend' who FAILED?

2009-09-06T20:00:00.002+08:00

i shall do all the blogging before my mood dies down.

Firstly, To Shakthipriyah a.k.a PeeyahLove, the loveliest ever-so gorgeous cousin.
You will be flying off to India tmr &its still so hard for me to get that fact into my brain cells. some part of it still keeps opposing to this awful truth, yes its an awful truth because i'm going to miss you tons. i'm more going to miss talking to you everynight, like a friend would. &it never crossed my mind that you were my family for the fact that you've nvr failed to listen to all my stories like no family will. thanks for listening to me all these nights. i swear i can't help myself but to hate you for leaving me here. i don't quite know if its possible for me to go days without talking to you for all we might not have realised is that we've been communicating each and every day. as for now, i have got only this to convey; please take good care of yourself, have safe trips, don't eat everything you get, be careful of whatever you're handling with &pray hard everything goes well. the first day, you will be prone to being homesick just like how i was but i hope you can get with it for the strong girl you're inside yourself. Love you more than words can say.

Secondly, Vikneshvaran is booking in on tuesday. hope everythng goes well in thr for him and he could handle stuff thr quite well. finally, you've broken free from all those hectic working days these past months. you've been a great friend to me and thrfore, i wish all the best to you. will miss you.

Lastly, Thinesh.. all that i ever wanted you to know is that you deserve all the happiness in this world for the fact that you've been a wonderful friend with no expectations. you've been there to give the best of advices, best of everything you could. &thr's nothing you could find fault on yourself. you know why i'm saying. not only you have lots to offer as a friend. i do too, my dear. do have fun and take good care in camp. like i said already, do call me when you're down. &please don't ever say you feeling the lowest you cn get. you're not. you're fine, and i believe so. you're losing no one my dear. tell me that the day i'm gone and i will take it. no mater what, you're the dearest i promised i would never replace and never want to. Take care ThineshyDarl. You're once again and again, a wonderful person i'm so happy to have known. You're actually more than just words can say. loved your very words that said, what i will see within the smile from dad. will be my mum's. and i will. the day i get my results. that's the very thing i always loved coming from you, &you loved spreading. &thanks for having the faith in me, thanks for always saying you wnat to hear that from me, you will, you eventually will.

I guess that's all i have. to convey.

2009-08-29T21:12:00.002+08:00

spent last night with chume studying till 8AM. though we both were really falling a asleep big time &my house was just a stone's throw away. torture! nevertheless, was satisfied for the fact that my friday night didn't go away stoning at home or hanging outside lifelessly. woke up pretty early today at about 12pm itself, all thanks to thambi ! he's always into waking me up. watched taare zameen par - every child is special. i actually thought i wouldn't wake up to the movie &so i did set an alarm. awesomeeee movie i badly wanted to watch. was first intro-ed by MuhesDarl during the june holidays when we were all over at my hse. &i had no regrets. so i wanted to watch it for the second time &trust me, i would watch it more than just this twice. AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME movie. a very beautiful movie about a little cutest boy of the age barely eight or nine suffering from dyslexia. &how he actually overcame it. how much he went thru staying at home away from home. how he covered up his disabilities in the name of disobedience. arghh, need i say more? its just one of the best movie i would say. i nvr was the 'movie person' but this was no of regret &def an exception. an eye-opener. &just words wouldn't describe the beauty of it all. seriously, a very pretty movie. i just couldn't get enough of it all, frankly. such a beautiful creation. &the boy, omg such a cutie pie. TAARE ZAMEEN PAR. watch it for sureeeeeeee! i never bragged about movies to this extent before. just an awesome movie full of morals.

i loved the part when aamir khan told Inu's dad that in Solomon Island, the natives wouldn't cut down the trees but would stand around it &curse it. it will just die down itself by withering. How niceeeee is that(if you understand its inner meaning to it).

WATCH IT WATCH IT !!!!
(Thanks to MukiDarl that i was aware of this wonderful movie)