KomathiKunalan(:

Thursday, September 10, 2009♥

Looking thru' all photos taken back then, it just saddens my heart to have miss those funs in my everyday life. one such memory is definitely my b'day with my best of friends. totally making my day a whole lot better one than the previous years, making me look forward to more, helping me to once again forsee &never turn back to regret about the past experiences, the worst experiences.

But then again, its not what we choose for ourselves all the time that causes us so much right? it can be because someone just can't get enough of seeing you at your worst that they want to do more, well one possibility. according to me, that's what i believe in when i don't go for troubles and troubles come to me. it can be your enemy, rival or even your 'bestfriend'?

What i believe in is what i think is really happening &there's no way i'm ever taking back my words. one can really turn from a friend, a bestfriend to a saddist who could offer you so much more than you would have ever expected. amongst all GENUINE friends around me who only wants to offer the best they could to me, you're one exception.

Perhaps, that's exactly why respect was so hard to be given to you yet trust was. then again, abuse. that is. again and again it was abused. putting you out of my life was the wisest choice i made, i wasn't forced. i wanted to very much forget the day you entered my life.

From the day you did, i thought you were one friend no one would ever get. I THOUGHT. emphasized enough? despite all the oppositions from a MILLIONS of them, i stood by my stand so stern. i was wrong, yet again. not once, not twice but many a times. let me not go in detail.

I always wandered, always did. what is wrong with you? why that fakefront for? unmask yourself &maybe then people might consider paying you a little respect for who you really are. now, this is just not you. i know that for sure. will there ever be a day whr i wake up to hear that you've changed for the better? having done so much &to know you're not even a bit remorseful of whatever you've did &doing, i'm praying for a day to come where you will have the taste of your own medicine.

I never liked to be problematic. but you've always made me show myself as a very problematic child to what extent you know. till date, i have regretted so much for whatever i have done. that, only i know. this year when it started i told myself i'm changing. not only that, but more. i did, i really did to the surprise of many. stayed away from many of them. did only what i should i do. in simple words, i just had an attitude, the right one to move forward. then again, you pulled me back.

There i am, once again pondering to myself where did i ever go wrong. not being able to concentrate on what i'm doing and am suppose to. &i definitely know its not even worth the thought but a point in life comes where you've to do alot of thinking for yourself for all the wrong turns in life taken and all the right choices that could have been adapted but failed to. now, the point has come whr i am thinking if thrs a way i could actually out some sense into your metal head.

yes i am numb, very numb and empty. my heart's that. but even amidst the numbness is some feelings of my own sticking in some corner of it. not that numb yet right? then why all these.

What is really your problem, my dear 'friend' who FAILED?

Blogged @ 3:33 PM